This morning was my turn to get up with Little Man and, in a rare and excellent turn of events, he didn’t wake up until 7am. We were both in a good mood when my husband came downstairs to join us an hour later, and we all started playing together on the floor. At one point my husband jokingly said to Little Man “Blink if mummy’s being difficult!” and I cracked up – I knew I was safe because Little Man just. doesn’t. blink. And he’s not alone – hardly blinking is one of those weird developmental things that’s actually normal for babies. But why don’t babies blink much, compared to adults?
Why doesn’t my baby blink?
How often do babies blink?
If you’ve spent much time around babies, you’ve probably noticed that they don’t blink much. This actually freaked me out slightly when I was still in hospital just after Little Man was born and I realised he wouldn’t blink for what felt like incredibly long amounts of time. Fortunately, a quick Google told me that it was totally normal. In fact, babies often only blink around once or twice a minute. When you consider that adults blink around fifteen times a minute, that’s a pretty huge difference.
Why do we need to blink in the first place?
Apparently, blinking is still a bit of a mystery to science, which is a mad thought given that there are billions of humans walking around on the surface of the planet blinking 21,600 times a day each. In fact, we blink so often that adults actually spend around 10% of our waking hours with our eyes shut.
Lubricating the eyeball by renewing your tear film, which not only nourishes the cornea, but also helps ensure a smooth optical surface to let your eyes see clearly.
Clearing away dust particles and any other debris from the eye.
Scientists now think that blinking may have a role in allowing your brain to get brief mental respites that help you to concentrate more effectively.
So… why don’t babies need to blink much?
Babies’ eyes presumably need to stay moist just like adult eyes. So why don’t babies need to blink as much as adults?
It’s been suggested that because babies sleep so much, they don’t need to blink as much, as they spend so much time with their eyes shut. Babies’ eyes actually don’t even make tears for the first month of life. Babies also have smaller eye openings than adults, proportionate to the overall size of their eyes. As a result, they might just not need as much eye lubrication as adults.
Alternatively, it’s also been suggested that babies may blink less because they need to focus more in order to take in all the visual information they’re receiving, so they can’t afford to take the short mental breaks that blinking affords to adults. Or that it may be related to babies’ underdeveloped dopamine systems.
So… What does all that mean?
As is so often the case when I’m writing about baby and child development on this blog, the answer seems to be: we don’t really know why babies don’t blink as much as adults. But the take-home message is: it’s totally normal for your baby not to blink much, so don’t worry.
It’s that happy season where everyone is posting about Christmas, Christmas, Christmas… In my house, the Christmas season doesn’t start properly until the 7th December, as my husband’s birthday is the 6th December and clearly takes precedence over the other festive season! But that doesn’t mean the preparations haven’t started, so I thought I’d share my Christmas round-up post, including ideas for festive baking, food and drink, gift ideas and family activities…
Christmas Round Up: Fun Ideas For Christmas 2020
Festive Food & Drink
Christmas is, of course, the season of food – and for those of us who love baking, it’s an opportunity to get into the kitchen and get creative! I’m planning on trying out this festive white chocolate rocky road traybake (complete with candy canes!) and this sticky gingerbread recipe. I’m not sure if I’ll get the time but I’m hoping to manage this impressive looking chocolate twist Christmas tree! Of course, in our house gluten free baking is pretty important, so I was also excited to find this recipe for gluten free mince pies. Let’s be honest… It’s not Christmas without mince pies!
Baking with kids at Christmas
If you have young children, the festive season is a lovely opportunity to get them involved in baking (and eating, of course!). These easy no bake sweet treats are just the right kind of safe and fun recipes to make with your kids at Christmas. Slightly older will love this Mars Bar fudge recipe for slow cookers, which is also a lovely, simple recipe that they can get involved in creating.
Christmas drinks and cocktails
Cranberries are one of those ingredients that I really associate with Christmas, but other than cranberry sauce with your Christmas dinner, it’s hard to come up with much to do with them… I’m planning on using cranberry juice and orange juice to make some tasty morning mocktails over the festive season – just what you want to wake up to!
On the alcoholic side of things, earlier this year I made some delicious hawthorn gin which should be ready for Christmas – I can’t wait to enjoy it in some prosecco in a festive hawthorn fizz. You can find my recipe for hawthorn gin here. I’ve also tried making some Christmas pudding vodka – so I’m pretty excited to see how that turns out! Or if you can’t decide between booze and dessert, why not whip up a delicious zabaglione – then you don’t have to choose…
Christmas Gift Guides
Buying presents can be so tricky, and especially this year when lockdown and the Covid tiers system means it’s not easy to get out to the shops and just browse.
In our house, we’re very much aware that food intolerances and dietary requirements can make Christmas gifting challenging – so I love this guide to buying gifts for vegans!
Moving away from food and drink gifts, this guide has some lovely homeware gift ideas, to or this weird and wonderful gift guide gives some quirky and different ideas for gifts your loved ones won’t be expecting. If you’re looking for super-specific gifts, I even found this gift guide for fans of the TV show Friends (I actually re-watched the entirety of Friends over maternity leave so it’s kind of perfect…)
If you’re buying gifts for a tea lover in your life, I have a guide coming soon on the blog – keep your eyes peeled!
Fun Christmas Activities
Christmas is definitely time for relaxing in front of the television… But it’s nice to use your time off over Christmas to do some other fun activities – and as we’re all going to be staying indoors this Christmas, I’m trying to plan some fun activities in advance.
Christmas Crafts & More
I’ve always vaguely wanted to try making my own decorative Christmas wreath for our house, so I was excited to find this guide to making your own natural foliage wreath – hoping to get the chance to give it a go this year!
So we’ve been weaning Little Man since he was six months old, and I’ve written a bit about it previously including my top tips for starting weaning. But I thought maybe it was time to write a follow-up post, expanding on one of the tips from my original article: that you shouldn’t make assumptions about what your baby will like.
As time has gone by, it’s come home to me time and time again how true this is! Little Man now basically eats whatever we have for dinner, with the occasional tweak – and it’s incredibly rare for him to not like something. He does have his favourite foods (anything Japanese, cottage pie, cherry tomatoes, banana) but the list of foods he doesn’t like is so short it’s not even a list, because there’s only one thing on it: feta cheese.
So I thought I’d pull together a list of some of the quite random foodstuffs that Little Man has tried and loved…
Weaning: Foods I Didn’t Expect My Baby To Love
Kimchi
If you’re not familiar with kimchi, it’s a Korean foodstuff made of fermented cabbage and other vegetables in a tangy, sometimes spicy sauce. When my husband made kimchi fried rice for us, although I dished some up for Little Man, I also made him a separate supper as we didn’t expect him to like the strong flavours of kimchi.
Boy, were we wrong! He wolfed it down and demanded more. This baby normally enjoys fried rice, but he seemed to enjoy it more than ever with the addition of the strongly-flavoured kimchi. Who knew?
Curry
I know so many grown adults who are quite fussy about curries, so I never expected Little Man to be quite so keen on them. He’s already tried a wide range of different types of curry, from more classic Indian aubergine curry with a bit of spice, to Japanese dry curry. And he’s seemed to enjoy them all! I was surprised to discover that he really doesn’t seem bothered about a bit of chilli spiciness in his food, and he has happily eaten a number of foods with a bit of a chilli kick to them.
Weird weaning food combinations
Early on in the weaning process, I discovered that Little Man would very much enjoy eating the strangest combinations of foods. This was super useful as we started our weaning journey and he was eating a lot of mashed and softer foods, because I could put pretty much anything on a plate for him. I remember once I sent my mum a picture of Little Man enjoying his lunch, and she asked what he was eating. The answer? Sweet potato, porridge, and broccoli. Yum. Not sure why I haven’t been awarded my first Michelin star yet… Presumably they have a backlog due to Covid.
Deconstructed shrimp tacos
Dashi
Dashi is a broth or stock flavoured with seaweed and flakes of dried fish. It’s a key ingredient in many Japanese dishes.(and is the reason why some westerners complain that so much Japanese food tastes vaguely fishy!). We’ve discovered though that Little Man love love loves dashi! He has absolutely wolfed down any meal which contains it.
I think a lot of small children enjoy fish for its soft texture and yummy flavour, so if your child is one of these kids, why not try cooking them something with dashi – for instance this Japanese oyakodon recipe is easy to cook and even easier to eat!
Watermelon
Okay, I didn’t expect that Little Man wouldn’t like watermelon (who doesn’t like watermelon???) – I just didn’t expect him to like it quite as much as he does. We discovered that giving him a big piece of rind with a little melon attached was amazing at soothing his gums while he was teething in the summer. Obviously you need to be careful that he doesn’t bite bits off the rind and end up choking, but at around 6 months Little Man’s bite wasn’t strong enough to actually cut through the rind, so he just really really enjoyed chewing on it!
Pasta all’amatriciana
Coffee
Okay, bear with me – NO I’m not advocating giving your tiny baby coffee! Little Man has the habit of climbing up on us and begging to try a bit whenever we are sat down with food or drink and he doesn’t have any. He was doing this once with me when I was drinking coffee, and I thought actually it’s so bitter that if he tried a bit, he wouldn’t like it and would leave me be to enjoy my coffee in peace. So I dipped my finger in my coffee and let him lick it, just to get the taste. And of course, you guessed it… He loved it. Oops.
Weaning foods: the verdict
So I guess in summary, I’ve found on so many occasions that my expectations of what Little Man will or won’t like are totally wrong. I’m sure at some point he will go through a much fussier phase, but right now we’re trying to get him eating as many different foods as possible (within the realms of NHS guidance on safe foods for weaning), and he’s loving it!
What unexpected weaning foods does your baby love?
Have you discovered any unexpected foods that your baby has loved during the weaning process? Let me know in the comments!
So the other day, when Little Man came home from nursery, he had a bit of a runny nose. He was unsettled overnight, and in the morning was very snotty – like a fountain with a bad algae infestation – but seemed happy enough, so he went off to nursery in the morning as usual. Then, just after 10am, the nursery called to say that as he’d been coughing, they needed to send him home. And we needed to get a coronavirus test for our baby.
Nursery weren’t really worried that he had coronavirus; his main symptom was a runny nose, which isn’t usually a symptom of Covid – but as he’d been coughing of course they had to play it safe. My husband booked Little Man in for a Covid-19 test, and I took him off to the testing site in the afternoon. I thought it might be helpful to share our experience, because I really didn’t know what to expect with getting a baby tested for coronavirus, and to be honest some aspects of the process were a little baffling! It would have been helpful to read about someone else’s experience before we went. So here goes…
SPOILER ALERT: As we suspected, when the results came back they showed that Little Man did not have coronavirus, just a nasty cold.
Getting A Covid 19 Coronavirus Test For Your Baby
Booking the test
You can’t just turn up to a Covid testing site and expect to be seen. Instead, you have to book a testing slot in advance, which you do via the .gov.uk website. Testing is free on the NHS if you have one or more of the main symptoms of Covid-19.
My husband actually booked our test slot while I was off picking up Little Man from nursery. You can book up to three household members in together for testing, and the process is pretty straightforward. After giving your postcode, you’re informed of your nearest coronavirus testing site – we were lucky to have one very close by. You could select a drive-through test or a walk-in test, and I went for the latter as it seemed more practical with a baby. You can pick a half hour long time slot for your test, and they tell you that it shouldn’t take longer than an hour. Fortunately for us, there were lots of free timeslots, so we could select a time that suited us right after Little Man has his lunch.
The website tells you that at some sites, you have to do the Covid swab yourself, while at other sites people do it for you – but it doesn’t tell you which one it’s going to be, based on the location you pick. We were also told to bring photo ID, although in the end no one actually asked to see it.
Finding the coronavirus testing site
I didn’t have a problem finding the test site itself – the problem came after we arrived. The testing site was set up in a car park. Not especially surprising for a drive-through testing centre. However there was no signage to indicate where to go for a walk-in test. I wandered around a bit, looking for a sign, being completely ignored by the staff there, and eventually gave up and just walked into the drive-through test entrance.
This attracted enough attention that someone finally came over to help. They seemed surprised to see someone coming for a walk through test, but took me to a table to one side of the car park, and told me to wait…
The Covid-19 Self Test Pack
I was given a sealed pack that contained various items – a swab (basically a cotton bud or Q-tip), tissue, plastic tube, two sealable plastic bags, and a set of instructions for how to conduct a Covid-19 Self Test.
The instructions were fine, but they’re not designed for getting a Covid-19 coronavirus test for your baby. In fact, all the instructions said on the matter was: “Children aged 11 and under – Adult to test child. Use the supplemental instructions to help you do this“. Fine… Except that I wasn’t given any supplemental instructions. Hmm.
I asked a member of staff, who said that he thought that you just needed to swab one nostril for young children – grown-ups have to swab their tonsils and nose (in that order, fortunately). I’m not sure whether the “supplemental instructions” on swabbing young children would have gone into more detail, but I do think it seems daft to have a separate set of instructions instead of just printing them all in one place.
I also think it would have been helpful not only to have actually had a copy of specific instructions of how to administer a Covid-19 coronavirus test to a baby, but to have had them in advance of going to the test site. If you knew what you were going to be asked to do, you could plan better how best to bribe/trick/otherwise deceive your baby into complying with the test. As it was, when we went to the site I didn’t even know that I would be asked to swab Little Man myself, let alone the details of what that would involve.
Conducting A Covid 19 Coronavirus Test For Your Baby
What I had to do:
So, I had to sanitise my hands carefully, swab my baby’s nostril – according to the adult instructions, ideally for 15 seconds and quite deep into the nostril until you feel resistance… It didn’t sound super achievable, when you consider that Little Man screamed, cried, grabbed my hands, and sometimes tried to bite me most times I just attempted to wipe his runny nose with a tissue.
Then I had to break off the long end of the swab, put it into the plastic tube without spilling any of the liquid in the tube, put that and an “absorbent pad” into a Ziploc bag, put that bag into a sealable biohazard bag, and put that bag into a box. Yay.
The Complications:
Did I mention the fact that it was a windy day? And that I was sat at a trestle table in the middle of an exposed car park, with nothing to provide a wind break, and handfuls of plastic bags, loose pieces of paper, and other objects that seemed designed to fly away at any moment. Oh, and nothing to weight them down with.
The inevitable did of course happen, and half my Self Test Pack ended up scattered across the car park by the wind while I was trying to unpackage the swab. So then I had to scurry around trying to collect them all up in one hand without contaminating the swab in the other, which was super fun.
How it worked in practice:
I distracted Little Man with a toy he hadn’t seen for a while, which got his attention enough that I actually managed to wiggle the swab around fairly deep in his nostril for about seven or eight seconds before he started protesting.
When the swab came out it was very snotty (eurgh, sorry). I wasn’t sure if this would be an issue, as the instructions for adults tell you to blow your nose beforehand so that the test won’t be ruined by too much mucus. The guy at the test centre said it wouldn’t be a problem though, and we got the test results fine so I guess it wasn’t!
Getting your Covid-19 test results:
The results took just under 24 hours to arrive. My husband was sent the Covid test results by text message and email, which was handy as we had to send the nursery a copy of them. Happily, as we had suspected, Little Man’s test came back negative – he’s just had a nasty cold, not the ‘rona.
My tips for other parents getting a Covid-19 coronavirus test for your baby
I think that the drive-through test option is probably easiest if there’s two parents on hand, but the walk-in test was much easier for me to manage with Little Man on my own. You’re not supposed to leave the car during a drive through Covid-19 test, and I wouldn’t fancy clambering into the back of the car to try to swab a baby in a car seat that’s facing the wrong way.
BUT. The wind did make the walk in test way more challenging than it needed to be, and it would have been even less fun in the rain, so check the weather forecast before you decide! If you do go for a walk in, expect to be outside the whole time, and take enough warm clothes for you and the baby.
If you’re getting a Covid-19 coronavirus test for your baby, I would take along some form of guaranteed distraction for the actual swabbing process – either a favourite toy they’ve not seen in a while or a favourite item of food. If you go for food though, make sure it’s something that will take them a little while to eat, like a breadstick, because the process is fiddly and takes a little while. If you’re in a car I guess you could even try to distract baby further with a baby sensory video on YouTube or similar.
Your experiences of getting a Covid-19 coronavirus test for your baby or young child
Have you had to get a Covid-19 coronavirus test for your baby or young child in the UK or abroad? What was your experience? Let me know in the comments!
As a mama with hypermobility spectrum disorder, I have rubbish joints! How rubbish they are tends to vary from day to day and even hour to hour. Some days I don’t notice any problems – other days when my hands are very stiff and sore, I struggle to open jars; or I’ll find that my hip or shoulder keeps popping out of the socket, or everything will just be very achey and stiff. But how do my rubbish joints affect looking after a baby? I’ve written a little about being a hypermobile mama previously, but it seems time to do something a bit more comprehensive on parenting with a joint condition…
And so, here are my top tips, focused around looking after a baby when you have a joint condition, from the newborn stage through to when they start toddling. Hopefully this guide will be useful to other parents with hypermobility spectrum disorder, EDS, arthritis and other joint conditions. If you have any tips you think I’ve missed, let me know in the comments!
Looking After A Baby When You Have A Joint Condition
Feeding your baby comfortably
Whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle feeding, especially during the newborn days you tend to spend an awful lot of time feeding and burping baby. Spending a lot of time in the same position is often uncomfortable if you have dodgy joints, and the limited range of feeding positions – and the fact that you don’t want to disturb a baby who’s happily feeding, by having to move them – can also be an issue.
Tips: Have a comfortable chair or spot in your house for feeding, which is set up just for you. I had a cosy armchair with a couple of cushions for back support, a footrest for my feet, and a spare cushion nearby which I could put under my arm or under Little Man to get us both comfortable. Having my arms supported definitely helped me. If you’re breastfeeding, there are different positions you can try to see what’s easiest for you. If you’re bottle feeding and struggling with holding a bottle, there are devices you can use for hands-free bottle feeding which clip on to a car seat or bouncer.
Poppers or buttons on baby clothes
Okay if you have terrible hands, these are THE WORST. I know lots of people hate poppers, and I know I’ve written about how I hate buttons on baby clothes previously; but as I love to labour a point and we have moved into the colder weather – which always makes my joints get even more stiff and achey – I just have to say it again. THEY SUCK. It’s hard enough to get my wiggly Little Man to stay still long enough for a nappy change, let alone while mama struggles to undo and then do up 5,000 poppers on the legs of his suit. Poppers/buttons are no good if you’re parenting with a joint condition!
Tips: All baby clothes should be mandatorily done up with zippers or, at a push, velcro. Obviously, I have yet to succeed in getting this written into UK law. And unfortunately it turns out that for some reason baby clothes with zippers are both hard to find and often really expensive. So my tip is: before the baby arrives, tell everyone who might buy you a gift that you want ZIPPERS damnit, and let them pay for it!
Alternative tip: Ask your husband/wife/partner/friend nicely if they can help with the damn poppers.
Hanging out on the floor all day
Turns out, having a baby means a lot of time spent hanging out on the floor. For me personally, getting onto the floor is fine, but it tends to be when I try to get up that I suddenly discover that I’ve been sitting with my joints in odd positions without realising it, and everything hurts. Oops. And the older Little Man has grown, the more time we’ve ended up spending crawling around together on the floor.
Tips: There’s not really much to be done about this one, unless you can persuade your baby to learn to fly! I tried bringing a cushion on to the floor with me, but once Little Man started crawling it was too much bother to keep moving the cushion around with both of us. My best advice is to think about specific activities that can be done away from the floor. For instance, a tabletop changing table might help for nappy changes, or bathing baby in the sink rather than in a tub on the floor. You can also look at getting a raised Moses basket and/or cot, so that you’re not having to stoop to and from the floor at nap time or when baby is very small and spends most of his/her time dozing.
Lifting and moving baby
I’m fortunate that although my joints are often painful and stiff, I tend to be okay with lifting and moving Little Man, but of course there are lots of joint conditions that could make it much more difficult to lift and move your baby around the house.
Tips: Using a sling or baby carrier is great, especially for the newborn phase, as you can take baby with you around the house without having to do lots of lifting, and spreading the weight evenly across your shoulders and back. Be careful though with using these aids if your joint condition makes you more likely to trip or fall – if that is the case, it may be safer to avoid using carriers. Make sure you follow good lifting technique to support your joints and minimise the risk to you and baby.
Related tip: Have a couple of stashes of key items around the house e.g. a couple of stations with nappies, wipes, a change of clothes etc. That way you’re not constantly having to carry baby up or downstairs or around the house if you need to change his nappy, clothes etc.
Taking ages with tasks….
One of the issues when your hands are stiff and uncooperative is just that things can take a long time, which is difficult for things like nappy changes when baby may just try to wiggle away.
Tips: My top tip is baby sensory videos to distract your little one! If you go on YouTube and search “baby sensory videos”, you’ll find loads of free videos that feature simple images and jolly music which will help distract baby while you get stuff done. Little Man loves the fruit and vegetable videos!
Your tips for looking after a baby when you have a joint condition
If you have experience of looking after a baby when you have a joint condition, I’d love to hear your tips. Let me know in the comments!
Recently I’ve noticed that when Little Man gets excited, he goes through a very specific set of behaviours. He will raise both arms up and out wide, lean in with wide eyes, and start shaking. This could happen over a new and exciting toy, a new experience (such as when we first took him to the seaside and dipped his toes in the ocean), or even a new food. It’s such a rapid shaking, it’s almost like he’s vibrating with excitement. This got us a bit worried… Why does my baby shake so much when he gets excited?
Shaking when excited
We’ve all heard the phrase “shaking with excitement”, but I have to admit I assumed it was a metaphor until I had a baby. It’s almost as if he gets so excited that he just can’t contain himself! Now, I know that babies do lots of things that seem weird (like staring at lights, or crawling backwards) but are actually totally normal. So, is it normal for babies to shake with excitement?
Is it normal for babies to shake with excitement?
Yes! It’s very common. It’s to do with baby’s immature nervous system. Their developing nervous system sends too many electrical impulses to the muscles and they get all twitchy. It’s normal for babies to shake with excitement, when they see someone they know or a favourite toy. This can present in lots of different ways – for instance, full-body shakes, or baby may clench his fists and shake, or tense up his whole body when excited.
Some babies may also display shuddering or shaking at seemingly random times, when there’s no particular reason for them to be excited, and sometimes it can last for a few seconds. No-one really completely understands the cause of this infant shuddering, but it’s not harmful and usually goes away by the time they’re four years old. Sometimes it’s referred to as infant shudder syndrome, shuddering attacks, or shuddering spells.
If baby is otherwise healthy, developing well and meeting his or her milestones, then there’s probably nothing to worry about if he or she tends to shake with excitement. Life is just that exciting when everything’s new! There’s no treatment for infant shudder syndrome, because it’s not an illness – it just goes away over time.
However, of course it can look a bit peculiar, and as a parent you may worry that it looks like your child having a short fit. If you’re worried, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and speak to a medical professional.
When to get worried about baby’s shaking movements
Of course, as parents it’s natural to worry. Shaking can be evidence of a seizure, but there are some specific seizure warning signs to look out for:
If shaking continues for over 20 seconds
If the shaking movement is accompanied by vomiting, unusual eye movements, or loss of consciousness
If it’s associated with illness or injury, or if baby sleeps for a long time afterwards
If you notice any of these signs, you should seek medical help urgently.
Ultimately, you know your baby best, so even if you don’t spot any of the warning signs, if you think it’s time to call the doctor or NHS 111, then do it. It may help (if you think of it at the time) to take a video of the shaking behaviour that’s worrying you, to show your health professional.
Is baby shaking when excited a sign of autism?
When I got onto Google and started researching about babies shaking with excitement and infant shudder syndrome, it was clear to me from the Google search bar that lots of parents who are researching this subject are worried that their baby’s shaking or shuddering could be a sign of autism. This is probably because some people with autism use repetitive or rhythmic movements to soothe themselves (also called ‘stimming’), and this can take the form of shaking or hand flapping.
This may look similar to a baby who is prone to excited shaking spells; however, infant shudder syndrome is not commonly viewed as a sign of autism. These kind of behaviours are also common with neurotypical children, so just because your baby or toddler shakes with excitement or flaps his or her hands, doesn’t mean that it’s a sign of autism. There are other early markers of autism which are more reliable as red flags that something could be wrong, such as a lack of eye contact or smiling. Again though, you know your baby best – so if you’re concerned that something is wrong, talk to your doctor.
Other causes of shuddering or shaking in babies
There are other reasons that babies may display shaking or shuddering movements, beyond excitement, infant shudder syndrome, or epilepsy. Babies and toddlers often shake their heads from side to side when falling asleep – it can actually be a motion they use to help themselves fall asleep (not that it looks very restful, especially when they start head-banging!), or a sign of teething or even an ear infection. My own Little Man is very much in the habit of shaking his head from side to side when he’s teething, especially after meals – it’s a sure sign for us that his teeth are playing up.
There’s also some suggestion that infant shudder syndrome could be an early sign of vitamin d deficiency in very young babies, so if you’re exclusively breastfeeding make sure that baby is getting their vitamin D drops in line with NHS guidance (babies who are formula fed get their vitamin supplements from the formula, so they don’t need any more).
In conclusion…
So, in conclusion… there are loads of reasons your baby may shake or shudder, but if he or she is specifically displaying this behaviour when excited, it’s probably nothing to worry about. In some situations, continued shaking or shuddering could be a cause for concern though, so exercise your best judgement as a parent, err on the side of caution, and check with a doctor if you think you need to.
Being a parent with chronic illness can be tough. It’s tiring enough looking after a baby or toddler without having to deal with pre-existing issues with fatigue and pain. When I started the Sickly Mama blog, one of the key things I wanted to do was write about parenting with chronic illness, and connect parents who suffer from chronic illness and disability to build a supportive network (you can join our Facebook group here if you’re interested!).
But of course I’m not the only one writing about this, so I wanted to do a post featuring articles from other blogs about parenting with chronic conditions, to bring together a range of advice on the subject from people who aren’t just me…
Parenting With Chronic Illness – A Collection Of Articles
Parenting and pacing yourself:
When you have a chronic illness, pacing is so important! I remember when my hen do was being organised, my husband was basically a consultant to my bridesmaids about how much I’d be able to do before I’d need a break. He did a great job, as did they, and I had a fab time (and then a really, really long sleep lol). But how do you manage pacing yourself while looking after a tiny, unpredictable bundle of energy (or two? Or three?).
Coping with a newborn as a parent with chronic illness:
The newborn period is notoriously an exhausting and difficult time for all new parents. If you already have chronic illness, it can be quite scary wondering how you’ll cope with the newborn phase, especially if you suffer with fatigue under normal conditions. How much worse will it be when you’re woken up constantly by a baby who needs feeding every couple of hours? Will you be able to cope?
I’ve found a couple of articles that give tips for new parents with chronic illness, on how to manage that difficult newborn phase. This blog post covers tips for managing a newborn with chronic pain and chronic fatigue. And this post covers taking care of a newborn and yourself when you’re chronically ill.
I think the best tips for looking after a newborn when you’re chronically ill are about determining the things you absolutely must do each day (feeding baby, feeding yourself) and identifying the things which perhaps are good to do but not essential (giving baby a bath, doing the washing up). That way when you’re having a bad day, you can stick to just doing the essentials without feeling guilty, and on a good day you can aim to get a bit more fine. Oh, and asking for help is important. Always ask for help if you can!
Helping your child cope with having a parent with chronic illness:
When your child is still a baby, it’s not really something you have to worry about. But I’ve already started wondering – when Little Man is a bit older, how will we talk to him and explain things when I’m having a flare up of my symptoms? This is a really special article, which is actually written both from the perspective of a parent with chronic illness and her grown-up daughter, looking back.
I think the key thing I took away from the article was the reassuring sense that it’s totally possible to have a great childhood even with a parent who clearly suffered from very severe illness. Even totally healthy parents tend to suffer from the mum/dad guilt that they’re not doing enough for their children, so naturally the same guilt is there when you also suffer from a chronic illness that is sometimes limiting. But treating your child with respect, honesty, and trying to maintain a stable routine is what they need.
How to thrive as a parent:
So far in this blog post, I’ve used words like “coping”, “managing” and so on to describe being a parent with chronic illness. But that seems to be setting our sights a bit low. What about thriving as a parent with chronic illness? After all, none of us goes into parenting with the intention of just ‘getting by’ – we want to enjoy the experience!
When Little Man was about 7 1/2 months old, we went to visit my parents. As they live a couple of hours away, this involved staying over. The little chap slept quite badly the whole weekend, but we weren’t especially surprised as he was in his travel cot which is still an unfamiliar bed for him. But when we got home, he continued to sleep badly even in his own cot. After a week of frequent wake-ups at night, I wondered whether he could be going through a sleep regression.
What is sleep regression in babies?
A sleep regression basically is what it says on the tin: a period of time (usually 3 – 6 weeks) where a baby starts sleeping worse with more wake-ups during the night, and/or trouble settling down to sleep.
Sleep regressions are particularly associated with developmental milestones and growth spurts, so there are some ages when you can more or less expect a patch of bad sleep to come along… And yep, 8 months is one of those ages!
When does sleep regression happen?
Most babies go through their first sleep regression around four months old, which is caused by changes in your baby’s sleep cycles, moving towards a more adult sleeping pattern. We actually didn’t notice that one though! At four months old, Little Man was sleeping so badly anyway that we were already up with him at least 15 times a night thanks to his tummy and colic… So there wasn’t really any capacity for his sleep to get any worse. There’s a strange sort of silver lining…
The next sleep regression is around eight months, although really it can happen any time in the seven to ten months range. And that’s where we’re currently at!
Our experience of the eight month sleep regression
It’s been a mixed bag so far! Little Man has sometimes had trouble settling to sleep at night, and often has been waking up fussing multiple times per night – we’d got used to him only waking once for a feed (or sometimes not at all!) so that has felt like a bit of a shock to the system.
This eight month sleep regression coincided quite closely with Little Man starting to crawl forwards and pull himself up on things. This is apparently often associated with sleep regression, as is the start of separation anxiety, commonly experienced around eight months.
In general I’ve noticed issues much more at night than with his daytime naps, although we have had a couple of incidents of naptime meltdowns and nap refusal. In fact, overall I’d say he’s actually been napping longer during the day (presumably to make up for the night time deficit!). However at times he is doing two very very long naps rather than three shorter naps in one day. That can be difficult to predict, and it’s often difficult to know whether or not he will want a third nap!
We’re probably almost four weeks in and things are just starting to improve again, which is positive. Hopefully it won’t be too long before we’re back to getting a reasonable night’s sleep most nights…
Tips For Parents
So what are my tips for sleep regression? I guess focus on the positives: although Little Man is waking up much more than he was a month ago, it’s still nowhere near as bad as he was around 5 months old with his colic, or in the very early newborn stage when they need to feed constantly.
I’ve also written previously about our white noise machine and how useful it is at soothing Little Man to sleep. It’s also something I’d recommend to any parents going through a sleep regression! The white noise owl has a noise sensor, and it turns the nose on automatically if it senses baby making noise in the night. This has been so invaluable over the last few weeks – sometimes I’ve been woken by the sound of Little Man fussing in the night, but once his white noise comes on, he’s happily settled back down to sleep and I’ve not needed to get up at all! Of course, it doesn’t work every time, but I definitely recommend getting a white noise machine if you don’t have one.
2020 has been a pretty crazy year. I can’t say it’s been a bad year, because my lovely son was born in January, but it’s definitely been a mad year. And now it seems that we’re heading for the second wave of coronavirus… and a second lockdown. The first lockdown back in March was a bit of a shock. None of us had been through anything like that before. Will surviving a second lockdown be easier, because we know what to expect, or will it be harder – for the same reason? It’s difficult to know, especially as we don’t yet know what a second lockdown will look like. The one thing we do know is that lockdown has some pretty major effects on mental health.
So in preparation, I’ve pulled together a round up of some of my favourite blog posts about surviving lockdown 2.0 with your well-being intact…
Surviving Lockdown 2.0 And Maintaining Wellbeing
1. Coping with social isolation in a second lockdown
One of the most difficult things about lockdown is the social isolation. It’s particularly tough if you live alone, but even those of us living with family, friends or housemates can struggle not being able to see the people we’re closest to, or even have those everyday interactions with other people that you don’t even notice under normal circumstances – a chat with a friendly check-out clerk, a quick gossip in the office, even just a smile in the street. Humans just aren’t made for social isolation.
My idea of maintaining wellness at home is agreeing with my husband an evening that I can have a bath while he feeds Little Man and puts him to bed (Little Man’s room is next to the bathroom and our pipes are super loud, so I can’t bath after he’s gone to bed!). I run a hot bath, add some bubbles, make a mug of herbal tea and grab a book to read while I soak. Luxury!
But this blog post made me realise I was aiming wayyyyy too low. You really can create a luxury wellness retreat at home – it just requires a bit of planning! Even if your family commitments mean you can’t quite clear your schedule for a while day of home spa relaxation, the links at the bottom of this post give some great ideas for lovely ways to boost your wellness when you have less time available. During coronavirus lockdown 2.0 when you can’t go out or meet friends, it’s so important for your mental health to carve out some time for yourself, and this post is great inspiration for your next block of me-time.
I also loved this idea for mamas and papas in lockdown – planning a lazy pyjama day with the kids. If you can’t quite get the time to have a wellness retreat, perhaps that’s the next best thing.
3. Mindfulness meditations to combat Covid-19 second lockdown stress and anxiety
Linked to the above, lockdown is inevitably stressful. Not being able to go out and spend time with friends and family is stressful in itself, let alone worries about catching coronavirus, managing food and medication shortages, employment issues and more. Mindfulness is a great way to combat stress and anxiety, and even as little as a ten minute mindfulness session every day can make a real difference to your mental health and wellbeing.
As we go into Lockdown 2.0, I’m going to be proactive about using mindfulness to manage stress, and working my way through this list of 10 minute mindfulness meditations.
4. Managing second lockdown food shortages and limited shopping trips
If the newspapers are to be believed, panic buying has already started in advance of the second lockdown. Back in April, I set out some of my top tips for managing with lockdown food shortages and limited shopping trips. I’ll be revisiting some of those tips, and trying to make sure we have a well-stocked freezer before Lockdown 2.0 hits! When shopping for Covid supplies, remember that some medical conditions require a bit of extra care – for instance, if you have eczema then you may need to be careful what hand sanitizer you buy – so make sure you read up on suitable products before you buy.
You could also consider trying a meal subscription service like Hello Fresh, to get you cooking fun new things without the hassle…
5. Improving Wellness At Home
I like this round-up post about improving your wellness at home. Some things are so simple and yet they do really make a difference to how you feel… Like making sure you get outdoors every day if possible. During the first coronavirus lockdown, we always made sure to pop into the garden every evening with Little Man, to spend a little time with nature, and it always really lifted my mood. Unless it was raining, of course! If you have a garden and a little person (or people) at home, you can also check out these tips for making your garden kid friendly or alternatively, this post on creating a cosy space in your kid’s room.
Of course a huge focus of this blog is on parenting and being a mama, so I loved this blog post about how mamas can beat the lockdown blues and this post with self-care tips for lockdown as well as this post with more general advice for mamas in need of self care. Of course a lot of the tips will be great for dads too (although probably not every dad will want a mini makeover).
There are benefits to being locked down with kids – at least the time goes quickly as you’re caught in the constant whirl of feeding, naptime, playtime and tantrums – but there’s no denying it can be stressful and exhausting. If you need some ideas on how to keep kids occupied, check out this post on an A – Z of family life in lockdown or this one on lockdown learning and home schooling.
I also liked this post about tips for kids returning to school – useful for the end of lockdown!
7. Get cooking
I love cooking and baking, and I really think that getting in the kitchen and cooking something yummy is such a great way to keep occupied. Some recipes that I’m planning to try whenever the inevitable lockdown 2.0 starts include: these herby halloumi fries (omg I love halloumi so much!), this classic French tartiflette, some beetroot orange and ginger soup, and these Yorkshire puddings (okay, I should probably wait until we’re having a roast dinner!).
It can also be fun to think past the end of lockdown and look to the future. Yes, there’s so much that we can’t do in lockdown, but in some ways it can focus your mind on what you really want to prioritise doing once things return to something a bit more like normality. I think we’ll all be better at prioritising the things that really matter to us once this is over. I like this post on things to do once lockdown is over – check it out! If you’re feeling brave, you could even think about booking a holiday so you have something more definite to look forward to. Some providers do offer holidays that are protected if you have to cancel due to Covid (but be sure to check the T’s & C’s) – you can read about one family’s experience of a pandemic holiday here!
Second Lockdown: Your Tips
What are your top tips for surviving lockdown… again? Let me know in the comments!
We started weaning Little Man at six months, so we’re now about seven weeks in and having two solid meals a day as standard (I’ll be honest, we could be doing three a day, I just can’t be bothered cleaning porridge off the walls that early in the morning). That means it’s time to share my top weaning tips so far, based on what I’ve learned!
We’re following a mix of traditional weaning (where the food is puréed or mushy at first, gradually increasing in chunky textures, and you feed baby with a spoon) and baby-led weaning (or BLW – where baby is presented with solid food options from the start and has to feed him or herself). This seems to be working just fine, despite some evangelists on the BLW side saying it’s all or nothing and you must never mix the two approaches for fear of confusing baby. Maybe some babies are more easily confused than others… Mine just seems to treat all food of all textures and presentations as an opportunity to coat himself in muck from head to toe.
In general, lunch is more of a purist’s BLW approach, where Little Man gets foods he can pick up himself and the time to have fun with them. Sometimes they even go into his mouth. Then at dinner, he sits in his high chair at the table with me and my husband, and there’s more of a concerted effort to get some food in his tummy.
Anyway, I’ve been reflecting on our weaning journey so far, and I thought I’d share some weaning tips that I wish I’d known when we started!
Don’t make assumptions about what they will or won’t like
Little Man has consistently surprised me with what he enjoys eating. The other day, I was eating some very strongly flavoured salt and vinegar crisps. Little Man was on my lap, and he was reaching for them. We don’t normally let him have any kind of junk food, but I let him have a crisp, on the basis that I thought the flavour would be way too strong and acidic for him and he wouldn’t like it. I even thought it might put him off asking for crisps in the future! Predictably, I was 100% wrong and he loved it… Oops.
Other foods that he has liked despite my expectations have included raspberries, broccoli mash (come on though, broccoli is grim… I practically made myself ill from the smell when I cooked it for him!), risotto, Japanese-style pork croquettes, and more. Now, I just let him try whatever and see what he thinks. Fingers crossed it works and we avoid having a fussy eater later on in life!
Help them get started off
I often offer Little Man one or two pieces of his finger food before leaving him to try to eat himself. Giving him a piece straight to his mouth at the start of the meal helps him get enthusiastic about feeding himself the rest. I then often give him one or two pieces to hold, as he often struggles to pick things up initially and it seems to help him get the hang of it for the rest of the meal.
Weaning is tough
Don’t start sweet (unless you mean to go on…)
The other day, I gave Little Man some raspberries to start him off while I made veggie omelette for his main. Oops. He loves veggie omelette, but after the raspberries he was in no way interested. Every time he put a piece in his mouth, he just made a sad face. Now we don’t do sweet things until the savoury is out the way first…
Let him have his own damn spoon
Little Man ALWAYS wants to hold the spoon. He struggles a lot with his teething and loves chomping on our wooden spoons. He’ll take a bite from a spoon, then if his teeth are bothering him, he’ll get very angry if you try to take the spoon back to give him a second bite. So now I have a back-up spoon on hand, and I just let him keep the spoon he wants. It’s much easier all around.
Brace yourself for those first weaning nappies
Little Man has always had trouble with his stomach, but as his tummy had improved by the time we came to start weaning, I have to say I wasn’t fully prepared for the violent and explosive nature of the poops he produced after starting weaning. We went through a couple of weeks where he was routinely experiencing such forceful poops that they completely escaped his nappy and went right up his back. He’s also been quite windy, but fortunately doesn’t seem to have tummy pain like he used to when he was smaller. Luckily for us (and our washing machine), Little Man’s digestive system does seem to have begun to acclimatise to solid foods, and poops are now normally being contained within the safety of his nappy. But I really wish someone had warned me about those first few weeks!
What are your top weaning tips? Share them in the comments!
