Category: parenting

Baby Sleeping Better. Mama Sleeping Worse.
colic

Baby Sleeping Better. Mama Sleeping Worse.

The Sickly MamaLeave a comment
Advertisements

When you have a baby, everyone always asks about their sleeping and how many feeds they need in the night. For quite a long time now, Little Man has had a feed around 2 – 3am and then not needed another until 7 – 8am. Sounds great! Except he has such bad tummy troubles that we get woken up regularly with those, instead of feeding. Usually he manages to get through to the 2am feed either without waking or with just one waking, but after that it’s frequent wakings through to the next feed, waking up crying and needing to be winded, burping, farting, and vomiting on us until he feels better and can go back to sleep.

Now the past couple of weeks, we’ve had what should, on the face of it, be an improvement. He’s not waking up crying with wind anything like as much as he used to. Instead he’s developed a weird habit of lifting both legs up in his sleep and slamming them down, which appears to be his own unique way of getting those farts out, and generally making fussy noises and wriggling… All while pretty much asleep.

Usually when this happens he doesn’t need anything more than me to pick up his dummy and maybe switch on his white noise owl (Ollie the Owl, a godsend gift from my lovely sister) for him to fall back into a deep sleep. But it’s often happening pretty much every twenty to forty minutes for several hours towards the end of the night, so I am constantly up and down with him and it is so tiring!

Plus to add insult to injury, his teething has got much worse lately – so often when he’s semi-awake like this, he starts chewing on one hand, and unless I intervene by taking away his hand, giving him his dummy and rubbing his belly until he goes back to sleep properly, he ends up waking up screaming because he’s bitten his hand too hard. Urgh. Sometimes I’m too slow getting to him and he’s already woken himself up a bit chewing on his hand, so then I have to hold him until he falls asleep and then attempt to transfer him into the cot without waking him up, which feels like a Krypton Factor challenge.

I’m hoping that to some extent, as far as his tummy goes, this is a good thing – a sign that his stomach is starting to improve, so his colic is lessening and he can get more wind out without needing our intervention, but from my perspective it’s definitely a case of things getting worse before they get better! Plus, once the teething is added into the mix, it’s absolutely exhausting. Fingers crossed things start to improve soon…

At the moment, I’m feeling like I’m Daytime Mum (stressed out, sleep-deprived) all around the clock and Evening Mum (relaxing in front of the telly with a glass of wine) never gets a look in… I’m also struggling to sleep myself, which I think is related to my post-partum thyroiditis as I seem to be finding it difficult to fall asleep even when I’m really tired. At this point, I’m willing to try pretty much anything to get some sleep, even trying some sleep aid products…

Baby Parenting Hacks I Wish I’d Found Out Sooner
Uncategorised

Baby Parenting Hacks I Wish I’d Found Out Sooner

The Sickly MamaLeave a comment
Advertisements

So Little Man is now four months old, which is hard to believe! And I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve learned in four months of being a parent, and some of the tricks I know now, that I wish I’d known four months ago. So the time seemed ripe for a blog post about it…

The Hold

We discovered this when Little Man was nearly three months old, which was a shame because it meant I found him a bit big to actually use it. Basically it’s a way of holding a young baby that is very effective at soothing them. My husband found it really effective with Little Man, but I do think it’s easier if you have big hands! It would have been super useful when the little dude was really tiny and screaming the house down.

The Magic of Horsey Rides

This is a discovery from the last month or so which I wish I’d found sooner! Basically, sitting Little Man on my knee and gently bouncing him for a ‘horsey ride’ (ideally with sound effects included, and/or the silly Horsey Ride Song which I’ve made up) is incredibly soothing for him. It’s a great way to chill him out when he’s being really grumpy.

The Chill Wind

Little Man is a baby boy, and as we discovered to our detriment, apparently baby boys have this reflex which means that there incredibly likely to pee when you take off their nappy and the cold air hits them. Consequently for some time, nappy changes were like a weird, very damp game of dodgeball, with me and my husband leaping out of the way of wee jets at regular intervals, and the little dude managing to pee on his own face on more than one occasion.

Then we discovered that if you opened the nappy to let some cool air in, and even blow into the opened nappy, before shutting it up quickly, it usually helps to make him pee before the main nappy change takes place! According to the internet, this is called the “cold activation method“, which sounds very sciencey indeed.

The Try Before You Buy

I’m due a rant about baby clothes any time now, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. It’s not really a hack per se, but just having the knowledge and forethought to check how baby clothes fasten before buying them. Poppers = okay. Zips = better. Hundreds of tiny buttons = every parent’s nightmare at nappy change time!

The Peg Swaddle

Okay, bear with me on this one. When Little Man was a teeny baby, we got into swaddling him to help him sleep (in line with safe swaddling guidance). However, once he got to about three months old, he was strong enough to sometimes be able to partially escape from the swaddle during the course of the night, so we stopped swaddling as there was a risk of him ending up tangled in blankets or with the blanket on his face. I was worried that he wouldn’t go to sleep well once we stopped, but actually he transitioned fine and would fall asleep happily without the swaddle.

At least… Until a week or two ago, when he developed a bad habit of fussing at his face with his hands. I think it’s a combination of teething and itchy eyes from hayfever. When he’s sleepy, he will fuss like mad, poke his own face, bite his fingers, pull out his dummy and then cry because he’s hurting himself. Understandably, this makes it very difficult for him to fall asleep!

We were staying to lose both our minds and a lot of sleep as a result of this, because it was just so hard to get him to fall asleep. Then I invented the peg swaddle! I basically wrap him up in a blanket as if he were being swaddled, but crucially don’t tuck any part of the blanket underneath him. I fasten it at the side with a peg. It keeps his arms away from his face and allows him to fall asleep. Then when he’s sleeping soundly, I undo the peg, open out the blanket and tuck the ends underneath the mattress so there’s no loose covers. Obviously we only use this when he’s supervised, but it’s just such a useful trick for getting him to fall asleep!

There’s actually quite a few more that I can think of, but in the interests of making sure this isn’t the longest post ever, I’ll save them for another time…

Hypermobile Mama
medication

Hypermobile Mama

The Sickly Mama1 Comment
Advertisements

I thought it might be good to write something about my experience so far of being a mama with hypermobility. I have hypermobility spectrum disorder, which basically means rubbish joints that bend too far and hurt, and technically I meet the diagnostic criteria for Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS) although I’ve never formally been diagnosed with it other than by a random dermatologist at an appointment about something else (long story).

My worst joints are probably my hips and knees, although I also get pain in my shoulders, elbows, ankles, hands and feet (so basically everywhere other than my spine!). So what is my experience so far of parenting with hypermobility spectrum disorder?

Parenting with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder

The Advantages

I always like to try to stay positive and actually, as it turns out, there is at least one advantage to having hypermobility with my baby! His dad always complains that the little dude pinches and claws at his hands and arms when he holds him in his lap, and I was wondering why he didn’t do it to me… Except actually he does! But because I have skin that stretches more than it should, it doesn’t bother me when he grabs handfuls of it. This is the same superpower that led me to be immune to Chinese burns when I was in primary school…

The Disadvantages

The main disadvantage so far is just the ability to treat pain when it arises. I normally try to avoid taking medication for my joint pain unless it’s really bad, and I like to manage it using heat – hot water bottles or baths especially. But you can’t put a hot water bottle on a sore hip when you have a baby in your lap, and my opportunities for taking baths have been significantly reduced! Plus even when it’s bad and I want to take painkillers, if Little Man has just fallen asleep in my lap then I’m not going to go moving him.

For the first time the other day, when I was feeding Little Man and he was quite fussy with teething pain, he was pushing back against my arm so hard that it was making my shoulder partially dislocate even with me trying to brace the shoulder against a cushion. By the end of the feed, my shoulder was so sore!

He’s still only four months old, so I’m definitely worried that as he becomes stronger, it will become easier for him to accidentally injure me. All I can really do is try to build up the muscles around my joints which helps to hold them in place better. So I’m currently doing a tonne of yoga to try to strengthen my joints as far as possible.

Are there any other hypermobile mamas or papas out there with tips for taking care of your joints and a baby at the same time?

The Baby Olympics
Just for fun

The Baby Olympics

The Sickly Mama1 Comment
Advertisements
I’ve been entertaining myself lately by speculating about what events Little Man could medal in at the Baby Olympics.
Most actual “Baby Olympics” events held around the world (notably including in Bahrain in 2018 and on the Ellen de Generes Show) include boring events like crawling races, as well as featuring participants up to five years old which, frankly, is cheating.
No, I’m talking about a REAL Baby Olympics, testing the athletic skills that babies really practice and hone every day at home. Events such as…

The Long-Distance Dummy Spit

Little Man is a champion at this. One minute he has his dummy, the next minute it’s flying past my ear in high velocity slow-mo like something out of The Matrix. How does he get it to fly so far with, seemingly, no effort at all? It’s a closely-guarded secret.

The Fussathon

This is a marathon, not a sprint. Some babies, trying to keep their parents up at night, go for the Explosion Of Fury approach. Now, Little Man is a proponent of that approach, but he knows it’s hard to keep up over the long term, without just ending up tired. Instead, the true connoisseur baby keeps his parents up while simultaneously remaining asleep himself, by fussing, thrashing around, and making loud grumpy noises in his sleep. Now that’s something that can be continued almost indefinitely. What a pro.

The Baby Biathlon

An event where top prizes are awarded for simultaneous eating and pooping. Little Man is a true champion at this, but I recommend against volunteering to be part of the stadium clean up crew afterwards. Let the Japanese do it.

Kneeplechase

Little Man loves being bounced on my knee on an imaginary horsey ride. Weirdly, it is sometimes the only thing that will calm him down. We even have a special horsey ride song we sing (well, okay, I sing). The Olympics don’t currently feature a steeplechase, but I think the Baby Olympics should introduce it as an event.

Greco-Roman Bunny Wrestling

Up until very recently, Little Man has not really been interested in toys. But all that has now changed and he will sometimes grab Mr Bun Bun a.k.a. Peter Rabbit, and suck on his leg or bash him repeatedly into the ground. No doubt about it, he could definitely take Mr Bun Bun in a fight.What events do you think your baby could medal in? Let me know in the comments!
Moth Boy: Why Do Babies Stare At Lights?
Uncategorised

Moth Boy: Why Do Babies Stare At Lights?

The Sickly Mama3 Comments
Advertisements

During Little Man’s night time feeds, we try to keep the room as dim as possible, to encourage him to stay sleepy and go back to sleep as soon as possible afterwards. We have a very faint bedside table lamp which is perfect for the job. However, even this is frequently enough to send Little Man into full-blown Moth Boy mode. He loves to just stare at the light, sometimes arching himself backwards almost out of my arms in his desperation to gawk at it. A straw poll of mums from my NCT classes suggests I’m not the only one with a moth baby. Apparently, lots of babies stare at lights!

So, as I love finding out about baby and child development, I decided to do a bit of research…

So why do babies like to stare at lights?

In their first month of life, babies are much less sensitive to light than adults. 50 times less sensitive, in fact.That’s why they like to look at high-contrast black and white shapes in their first couple of months of life. In fact, research has shown that very young babies recognise their mother based on high-contrast stimuli such as the shape of their hairline on their face. If this is obscured e.g. by a cap or scarf, tiny babies aren’t able to recognise their mothers – so don’t change your hairstyle too much when you have a newborn (as if hairstyling will be remotely on your mind).Lights are obviously about as high-contrast as it gets, so they are naturally very appealing to babies!

Can staring at lights damage babies’ eyes?

Well, yes and no. Exposure to light is an important part of the development of normal visual function, and influences the development of neural connections. However, overexposure to high-energy visible light, particularly blue light and UV, can be damaging to eyes of all ages.However it’s not particularly likely that your baby is staring at the sun; it’s usually dimmer indoor lighting that catches their attention. Where artificial lights have the intensity of sunlight, damage can occur from brief exposure. Based on studies in mice, it’s believed that longer term exposure to less intense light can also be damaging. In general there’s no recommendation to stop children from staring at lights, but it’s probably not a bad idea.

How can I protect my baby’s eyes?

It’s recommended to protect your baby’s eyes from bright sunlight just as you would your own – with sunglasses. The possible effect of exposure to blue light from screens is not yet fully understood, so limiting screen time is recommended (and not just to protect your child’s eyesight!).

When do babies stop staring at lights?

It seems to be common behaviour for babies to be attracted to high contrast objects for the first six to eight months, as it helps their eyes to focus. But there’s no set time to expect babies to lose their interest in lights. Like everything else, they’ll get there in their own time.

Teething Sucks, But It Won’t Kill You (Unless You Live In 1842)
baby · health · history · Just for fun · pain · parenting · teething

Teething Sucks, But It Won’t Kill You (Unless You Live In 1842)

The Sickly Mama2 Comments
Advertisements

Little Man is FINALLY asleep in my lap for his after-lunch nap, having missed out completely on all naps this morning due to his stomach playing up. Then once his stomach settled, he immediately moved on to having issues with his teeth, so he is way overdue a sleep and has big bags under his eyes. Oh boy, teething is fun. So obviously, it’s time for another post about teething. This time with a focus on the history of teething (or rather, the history of how humans have thought about teething) through the ages…

The Fascinating History Of Teething

The Jaws Of Death

Did you know that in the past, teething was often actually considered to be a cause of death? In fact, in 1842 in London, almost 5% of deaths of children under one year old were registered as being due to teething. This was probably due to the fact that children died at the age when they were teething, and doctors didn’t understand the actual cause of death. Children who are teething often have an elevated temperature, which is not actually a fever, but again in the past fever was considered to be a part of teething – as were fits, convulsions and diarrhoea. These beliefs go back to Hippocrates in Ancient Greece.

This all seems pretty strange to us now, when teething is regarded as an unpleasant experience for babies, but hardly a serious condition.

The History of Teething Treatments – Flossed in Time…

Poor teething babies in the past probably weren’t helped by the range of “treatments” used to help with their pain. Here are a few of my personal favourites (seriously don’t try this at home, although if I really have to say that then god help us all):

  • In 117 AD, Soranus of Ephesus suggested using a hare’s brain to ease teething pain (you rub it onto the gums, obviously)
  • In 1545 the English doctor, Thomas Phaire, advised hanging red coral around the child’s neck to prevent teething pain. It also had the handy side effect of helping the child to “resisteth the force of lightening“… So that’s good.
  • In 1575 the French army surgeon Ambroise Pare advised lancing (cutting) the child’s gums, an idea which proved very popular right through to the nineteenth century. In fact, in 1850 Francis Condie even wrote of a case where a dead child was supposedly revived by having his gums lanced. Hmm. Not sure that one would have stood up to a peer review process…


Hmm. I think I’ll stick with Little Man’s teething monkey. Although admittedly, it doesn’t give him the power to resist lightening (as far as I know, I’ll check the box).

Telling The Tooth

Humans aren’t the only animals who have trouble teething. Other primates and mammals in general also have baby teeth (also known as milk teeth) which are then replaced by adult teeth. In fact, elephants and walruses which grow tusks (basically just massively overgrown teeth) apparently also experience pain when their tusks start growing in, and try to rub them on things just as a baby tries to bite when it’s teething. Which sounds adorable.

It’s a strange thought that parents throughout the ages have all had to deal with teething. And given the crazy remedies that have been suggested throughout history, we’ve all wished it was easier to soothe our teething babies. Little Man still has so many teeth left to go, and everyone has their own opinion about which teeth are the worst to cut – I can’t exactly say I’m looking forward to it!

Why You Should NEVER Say “Oh, But Your Baby’s So Good!”
Uncategorised

Why You Should NEVER Say “Oh, But Your Baby’s So Good!”

The Sickly MamaLeave a comment
Advertisements

My husband and I have often commented on the weird habit that lots of people seem to have, of commenting that Little Man “is so good”, “is so well-behaved” etc. etc., on the basis of very little actual time with him – or worse, on the basis of nothing but photos/video.

It’s not that we think that he’s “bad”, or even “badly behaved”. He’s just a baby, he reacts to whatever’s currently happening, and that’s totally normal. But these kind of comments can be pretty infuriating, because it implies that he’s super easy to look after all the time AND HE’S NOT. We’ve actually had people comment that Little Man must be a super chill baby “because he’s always smiling”… on the basis of social media posts. Guys. Do you really think I would post pictures of him screaming his head off with poop all up his back? I mean, I could, but as mummy blogs go, that’s a pretty niche niche.

It’s a funny thing that Little Man is often very chill around company (or he used to be… Obviously we haven’t had company in a while thanks to the lockdown). I’m not sure if he just gets distracted by everything that’s going on and ends up sleepy or what. But just because he smiles through an hour long visit for tea and cake doesn’t mean he isn’t screaming his head off at five thirty a.m. because his tummy hurts or he’s teething or he’s just having a grumpy moment.

There’s nothing wrong with commenting that a baby has been well behaved for a particular visit or trip, but when you use that to assume he/she’s always so easy to look after, you are really going to annoy his/her parents who quite rightly feel they deserve some sympathy for all the hours spent soothing a little screaming demon baby.


Anyway, rant over, and here’s a picture of our smiley Little Man just to prove he’s definitely never been difficult, at all…

My Baby Is Scared Of Sabre Toothed Tigers (and yours is, too)
Uncategorised

My Baby Is Scared Of Sabre Toothed Tigers (and yours is, too)

The Sickly MamaLeave a comment
Advertisements

Little Man is in the unenviable position of having colic and starting teething, which means he is a mega grumpus on a regular basis. Something that has always seemed particularly unreasonable about his behaviour is that he will regularly stop crying and chill out if he is picked up and walked around the house (especially if he goes on his dad’s shoulder, which is good absolute favourite place to be), but the second we sit down with him, he starts crying again.

Up until now, I was under the impression that this was because he is a deeply uncooperative child, but I discovered entirely by accident that THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT ALL BABIES DO BECAUSE OF SABRE TOOTHED TIGERS.

Why do babies stop crying when they’re being carried?

Okay, not sabre toothed tigers specifically, but predators in general. When babies are carried by their caregivers, their heart rate actually drops and they stop voluntary movement and crying. A similar reaction is seen in other mammals. However, this only works if you are carrying them while moving; stationary carrying doesn’t change their behaviour.

It’s proposed that this reaction has the evolutionary function of increasing survival chances if the mother needs to escape from a situation with her child.

Unfortunately for parents with grumpy babies, the soothing effect only works for as long as the baby is being carried around. So if baby is grumpy because he was upset by a loud noise or sudden pain (like immunisations), then carrying them around will soothe them. But if the reason they’re crying is something that’s still ongoing when you try to sit down or put them down (such as hunger or painful wind), they’ll just start crying again straight away. Great.

How I’m Staying Busy Without Having To Put Down The Baby
Just for fun · Uncategorized

How I’m Staying Busy Without Having To Put Down The Baby

The Sickly MamaLeave a comment
Advertisements

OMG being in lockdown can be boring! As I can’t take the baby out and about, I’m trying to keep busy even while he’s curled up in my lap. And a lot of the time, he refuses to chill out anywhere else. But what to do?

1. Learn A Language on Duolingo

Duolingo is a great app that lets you learn a new language or brush up on an existing one – for free! You can practice for a few minutes a day and set up reminders so you don’t forget. I’m trying to learn some basic Japanese, to help us when we’re in Japan visiting my husband’s Japanese family. And I’m also trying to remove the cobwebs from my dusty old German skills. It’s easy to fit in a few minutes when Little Man has a catnap.

2. Read and Drink Tea

For Christmas, my father in law bought me a subscription to the Tea and Book Club by Bookishly, kindly suggested by my husband on the quite logical basis that I love both tea and books. It’s great getting a classic book and delicious fancy tea through the letter box every month, and it’s a simple pleasure that can be enjoyed while baby is napping on me (because obviously napping in his basket would be ridiculous). Bookishly are still open for business during the pandemic, with appropriate social distancing measures in place, and I can highly recommend them.

In these times of quarantine, I should probably be trying to read books to improve my mind, but other than the Bookishly classics, I’m mainly reading a tonne of Agatha Christie, because I’m a sucker for a good murder mystery!

3. Bake

“But you can’t bake without putting down the baby!” I hear you cry! Oh, but you can. Sometimes Little Man is happy to chill on his mat in the kitchen with me while I bake, but if he doesn’t want me to put him down, I just pop him in his baby carrier and carry on baking! I can’t really do anything involving the stove while he’s in his carrier, obviously, but all the mixing of cakes etc. can be done just fine. So far we have made banana bread, brownies, blueberry muffins and raisin and oatmeal cookies. His dad is gluten intolerant and can’t eat a lot of baked goods from the shops, so it’s nice to make gluten free versions at home!

Quarantine tip: a lot of baked goods can actually be frozen for later, if the batch you make turns out to be too big for your household. If they have a high fat content they usually freeze well.

Baby naps while mama bakes

4. Play Catan Universe


This is the app version of the board game Settlers of Catan. It’s not free, but there is an extensive trial version so you can try before you buy! It’s perfect if you have a baby, because you can play a game against the computer slowly over the course of a day and just put it down if he starts fussing and needs attention. I recommend, especially if you’ve enjoyed the board game version.

I should probably also give an honourable mention to my husband’s app game of choice, Football Manager, which he loves and which is on my ‘to try’ list!

I’m hoping at some point I might manage to fire up the PlayStation 4 and finally get around to completing The Witcher 3, but thus far I’ve not worked out how to do that with a baby in my lap…

5. Write this blog


I’ve really enjoyed starting this blog and again it’s given me something to do that I can easily pick up when Little Man is chill enough, and put down if he starts kicking off. I used to have a blog (Pituitary Ademoaner) about my health issues years ago, and it’s great to get back to writing again. This is a free site on WordPress, so if you’ve ever thought of starting a blog, why not?

6. Watch Netflix


I’m not made of stone, obviously all this mental activity is pretty exhausting and sometimes me and the Little Man just want to zonk out in front of the TV. I’m currently watching Gilmore Girls for the first time and loving it, but I’ve also watched a lot of Friends and Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Tiger King (obviously) and loads of nature documentaries.
Right-handed Baby vs. Left-handed Baby
Uncategorized

Right-handed Baby vs. Left-handed Baby

The Sickly MamaLeave a comment
Advertisements

So ever since Little Man arrived in the world, we have been wondering whether he’s going to be right-handed or left-handed. I’m right-handed, but there are lots of lefties in my family. And my husband is sort-of left-handed (he writes and eats with his left hand but uses his right hand for racquet sports in an ambidextrous sort of way).

I was initially convinced Little Man was a leftie-in-waiting, because at first it always seemed like he flailed around at us/hit his dad in the face with his left hand. Then, about two days after I’d mentioned this to my husband, he suddenly switched and started using his right hand more instead. Then he went into a phase of really switching from preferring one hand one day, and the other hand the next. So I started to wonder – at what age does our dominant hand become fixed?

So I started Googling, and found a stack of contradictory information. Some places say hand preference is set by 5 – 6 years. Others say it’s set by 18 months. This article, on the other hand, says that “Hand preference is the product of multifaceted developmental processes that begin before birth and expand during early infancy”, which quite frankly is not the kind of simplistic answer I was looking for.

Different babies apparently develop hand preference at different rates, which makes sense, because they develop everything else at different rates too. Something that is interesting from the article I linked is that apparently left-handed preference doesn’t develop as strongly as right-handed preference, and they think that this could be at least partly due to right-handed mothers unconsciously engage their children’s right hands more during play. So now, I’m going to  try to make a special effort not to specifically pass objects to one or other of Little Man’s hands, but let him choose for himself.